Friendship Knows No Bounds

When my father passed away, I did not want to be alone in the house. I suppose I could have looked for a man to complete me, but, instead, I got a dog. He is small, but thinks he is huge (and ferocious). My dog and I love each other, but it does not stop us from fighting sometimes. (Yes, I know he is a dog!) I have come to expect that he knows when he does wrong, he seems to show remorse, and he forgives me when I have wronged him.

I have dated men that said if I could find a man like my dog, I would be married. Now, I know some people immediately went to the it's-a-man's-job-to-find-a-wife argument. I will not debate that one way or another in this writing. Those that have made the comment pointed out a deep truth: good relationships are built on strong friendships. The acceptance to be wrong and still be loved in spite of has kept my dog and I together for 10 years, even when he drove me crazy and I did not believe I wanted to have a pet anymore, for friendship knows no bounds.

So I leave you with this advice: If you are single and want to marry, marry a person with whom you have a strong friendship; if you are married, develop a strong friendship with your spouse if you do not already have one!

The Desire to Be Chosen

There was a time in my life when I was waiting for a man to come along and choose me. Choose me as his wife, his best friend, his confidante, and, yes, especially his lover. In many ways, it felt as though life would somehow begin once I was elected into this exciting position of someone's wife. It seemed as though I would somehow be affirmed and blend in with societal expectations if only some man chose me.

You can imagine my joy when I finally ended up in that relationship that led to a ring and the promise of another one that I would wear as close to my heart as possible. I began to plan a wedding, then I realized that would be a mistake. I needed to plan a marriage, a lifetime. It may have worked, too, except I started plans and my future husband refused to take any affirmative action in any direction. I realized for the first time that he was passive. But was he passive about me? Or just had a passive disposition?

So here I am: single, never been married. I used to blame God for causing me to be single despite giving me marital thoughts and desires. Later I learned to thank God because I saw how He had kept me from myself and from the troubles that I would have had with that particular man. But, now that I accept my fiance was not my husband, I still question where my husband is and if he even exists.

In this time of waiting, I have looked at marital relationships - those that thrive and those that deteriorate from the moment vows are exchanged. In this blog, I hope to explore some revelations about marriage and singleness.